Graham is 8 months old!!

I can't believe it, 8 months old!!!  Where is the time going?

Graham you have grown and changed so much this past month.  First thing first, what a scary month we had with you being so sick and even making your first and hopefully last trip to the hospital.  I am happy to report although you still have a cough, you are much better and back to your self.

This month has also brought about a lot of other firsts for you.
You sat in a high chair for the first time at a restaurant. While you liked it at first , after a bit you got tired and preferred to just sit on Mommy and Daddy's lap.  
You are now sitting in your bath tub, which you love!!
We introduced you to meats and yogurt. You haven't been a big fan at all of pureed meat.  I'm thinking it maybe a texture thing but we will continue to work on it.  However you LOVE the yogurt.
And Graham you have finally figured out how to roll over from your back to your belly, YEAH!!!

Last week Graham you weighed 16 pounds 14 ounces.  You are definitely growing like a weed.  You are wearing  6 to 12 month clothes and still in size 3 diapers.

Aside from when you were so sick, you have been sleeping great!  You go to bed between 6 and 7 pm then we feed you a late bottle, sometime between 10 and 11 pm, and you sleep until about 7 am.  You have learned how to put your binki in your mouth, which has pretty much solved you waking up in the middle of the night.  However the past few morning you have rolled yourself onto your belly and can't get back over:((!!  We are hoping that this is just a passing fad since you have learned how to roll over. Graham you love to sleep on your side and there is not much sweeting there when I go in to check on you, finding you sleeping so peacefully.  I may have a secret obsession with peaking in on your sleeping, it is beyond sweet!

Another obsession - your dimples!!

Daddy and I were just talking yesterday that you are just like Reece in the fact that you sleep great in your own bed but the minute we try to go out say for lunch/dinner and think you will just sleep in your car seat, NOPE!!  While you will take a nap in your car seat, it only lasts as long as the car is moving.  Therefore it makes it tricky because we have learned the more you sleep, the better you sleep and happier you are.  I try to ensure that you at least get one of your naps in your crib everyday, if so you will usually nap for a good two hours.  

Graham you are a pretty happy guy, except for when you are hungry or have a poppy diaper.  Where we have always said you are a pretty laid back little man, you certainly have found your voice, especially when you see a bottle or hear the food processor, you want it now!!!

Daddy can make you laugh better than anyone else (I'm a little jealous in fact!)  You want to be in the mix of things weather it be watching your brother play basketball in the playroom, sitting on the floor playing catch, or a conversation out and about.

Graham while we have loved every stage and thought each was our favorite, who you are and were you are at right now is amazing.  

I love how when you get excited about something you shake.

I love your giggle.

I love how serious you are about watching the world, like watching every move Pressley makes.

I love that your love to be outside.

I love the way you light up when we sing to you.

I love how your are completely mesmerized by your brother.

I love how you try to get so angry when we get you dressed everyday.

I love your BOOM BOOMs and how you know exactly what you are trying to say.

I love after your last feeding of the night, how you would let me hold and snuggle you.

We love every ounce of the little man you are and treasure every moment with you.  You have definitely completed our little family!!

I feel incredibly lucky to be your Mom

I love you,
Mommy

Trying to find my way....

I try to write a blog at least once a week but I have to admit I am at a loss.  I have several ideas come to me, I sit down and there is nothing!!  Last weekend I decided to pull out my crafty side, begin decorating for spring, even attempting a few Pinterest projects, all in hopes it would get my creativity flowing.  Well the uncompleted projects still sit.

I guess I'm in a funk, emotional, and just plan exhausted.  

I met Gregg for lunch today and spent the majority of the time sitting on the iPad just aimlessly roaming for something.  When I didn't find it I tried making some small conversation trying to be engaged but when I sat back watching him feed Graham I just I preferred to be quiet.  

While I have plenty going on, and life is crazy I am feeling so disconnected.

After lunch Gregg text me saying "I love you".  Tears streamed down my face and I responded with " I hope this is all worth it!"  He of course thought I was referring to the fact that we haven't had solid consecutive nights sleep in eight months.  But my comment really had nothing to do with that.  

Many girls I go to class with ask me how I do it with two kids, a full class schedule, plus in the field work.  I guess I don't know.  As I drove home from class the other night and knowing that I hadn't seen my kids all day and wouldn't until mid day tomorrow, I realized that I don't know how I do it.  For the first time I can actually see the finish line but I truly don't know how I am going to cross it!  

So is it all worth it?  I certainly hope I can look back in five years and know that while there were times it certainly was tough, days even a fifth cup of coffee couldn't keep my eyes open, and I just want to skip class or not write another lesson plan, but I hope these years will all appear to have flown by and be able to look back with pride that as a family we trudged through.

I miss the days of working part time with a set schedule that when I was done I could go to the gym, plan a home-cooked Pinterest meal, or even volunteer in Reece's class.  While spiritual and emotional I wasn't happy at my job it offered me the time and flexibility to do things which made me happy.  I knew in my heart I needed something more but I had no idea that jumping in with two feet would make me feel like I was drowning some days.  

So I guess as I sit hear pondering what to post I have pulled myself together enough to realize that THIS is all very worth it and while I may crawl myself into the finish, I am certain I will stand up and run across hearing Gregg and the boys cheering!

Tomorrow I am off to Joanne's to finish my projects...I will be sure to share them!

We will be celebrating this weekend because WE ARE IRISH!!