6 weeks

And we have colic!!
Colic is defined as three hours of consecutive crying but experts are really unsure as to the cause of the excessive crying.  Most babies cry for 2 to 3 hours total in a day.  Of course I  had heard of colic and knew that my children wouldn't have it and gosh those poor parents who have babies with colic, but it certainly wasn't going to be me.  So Monday when the doctor walked into the room as Graham was screaming he tries to say over all the noise "so we have excessive crying?"  I tried to convince him that indeed things were better since going off the dairy but then he said that awful word, COLIC!  
Since becoming a parent I have promised myself I would not be one of those parents who says my child will never do that, or we would never allow that,  and I know in my gut my thoughts when I hear someone say their child is colicky.  I certainly wouldn't rush over to visit them or arrange a play date because I have a hard time hearing babies cry, who doesn't I guess.  Now it is my precious little man.  I now the looks, I understand the self talk but I am also convinced that my little guy is just tired, or hungry, or gosh maybe even overstimulated.  I am beyond terrified to take him to his first day of daycare next week because what if he cries his really mad cry when nothing will settle him down?  I am his mom and I get frustrated, how is someone who doesn't love him a quarter as much as us going to handle it?  
So I find myself again being told, it should improve WHEN...Graham is it for us, there will be no more children and quickly learning everyday that though the picture is being painted very different than I wanted or envisioned, I am able to find joy in the little moments and enjoy this time because before we know it he will getting reedy for 1'st grade.  Isn't that what is it all about anyhow!?!  If I only focus on the fact that he cries or screams for hours on end in the morning and the evening I will go crazy, and honestly I might be anyhow, but I am also learning to enjoy the moments when I pick him up and he settles down by my embrace, the way he looks right at me when I nurse him, or how he looks all around so content when we are out on a walk.  It is those moments that help get me through.  A colicky baby is hard as hell and some days are awful but we are learning to adjust each day.  While it can be exhausting I feel more protective and in love with him ( if that is possible) going through this.  

Diet - Nursing.  I am on a completely dairy free diet and just eliminated my morning cup of coffee. The gassiness and bloating which Graham had a few weeks back have definitely improved, so I am sticking with the diet changes for now.  Otherwise Graham is a great nurser and I honestly am really beginning to enjoy the time I have just him and I. 

Clothes - We have moved to zero to three month clothes and size one diapers.  

Milestones - We moved Graham to his bed.  He does great for his first stretch in his bed.  Then I have been bringing him back in our room after his first night feeding because he wakes more often and quite honestly it is just easy for me feeding wise.  Also we had Graham Baptized on August 26.  It was a perfect day and everything we hoped for.  Graham nows weighs 9 pounds 6 ounces as of Monday.  The doctors say his weight is great!  Plus he now has the cutest little rolls on his arms, we can't get enough of.

God Bless Graham !

Likes - Graham loves going on walks and just being outside.  He also really enjoys his nightly baths and massages.  He makes the funniest face and noises when we massage his hands, I need to try to capture it on video.  Graham is also spending more time awake and while he becomes overstimulated very quickly ( this is quite common in colicky babies ) he loves looking around and locking eyes on pictures and faces.  Needless to say Gregg and Reece love making funny faces and nosies for him which he tries mimicking back, so cute!

Taking in all the sights 

Post Partum - I am feeling really good and learning a little better everyday to manage life as a mother of two boys.  I went back to the gym this morning and really looking forward to going on my first run in the next few days.  I think the exercise and running will be great for me mentally.  I told my mom the other day I feel like it is the first time I am no longer in the clouds.  I am also really looking forward to starting back in classes next week.  While I know it is going to be hard to leave Graham and adjust to the schedule, I am a firm believer in having some time for myself, it definitely makes me a better Mommy and wife!!

Graham's Big Weekend

Wow what a weekend we had.  Gregg's family came into town from New York and Massachusetts to meet Graham and help us in celebrating the little man's Baptism.  The weekend consisted of a lot of laughs, many boat rides, a few tears, some golf, even a trip to the hospital, but overall just great time with family.  While we have been anticipating the visit now for a while it certainly fulfilled  all the expectations.  We have so many pictures which highlight all the fun we had but here are a few....

Reece has been waiting for weeks for this!!

Meeting Uncle Mickey

Aunt Suzi

Gamma and Graham

Off for the first of many boat rides

Gamma and Pani

The Cousins

Graham's first visit to the golf course

Because Gregg's family was coming into town we decided it would be a perfect time to have Graham baptized.  The day was everything we hoped for and more.  There were a few snapfoos at Church as the normal Baptismal fountain was "flooded".  So as Deacon Mike told us Graham's " baptism will be something that everyone will never forget as this has never happened before."  Although most importantly Graham was officially blessed and is now a member of the Catholic Church!

Being Baptized 

Introducing Graham Edward

Graham and his Godparents - Brittany, Mickey, and Papa

 Happiness!!!!

(For those of you who know Reece to see him dressed so handsome and smiling at the camera with little protest captured my happiness of the overall day alone)

Some of the Moeller's

The Matthews/McInire family

My two boys

Thanks Mom and Dad for a beautiful reception to celebrate

Our best attempt at the whole Moeller gang

It was sad to have said goodbye to everyone this morning but we are looking forward to looking through all the pictures and reminiscing about the wonderful memories we had this weekend.  There certainly is plenty to smile about and remind us how blessed we are!!  

5 weeks

 Reece picked out Grahams outfit today!

So to be completely honest we are flying by the seat of our pants at this point.  I would love to say that after 5 weeks we are starting to figure things out but truth be told we have no idea.  I promised myself many things this time around, one of the biggest things was going to be to enjoy each moment, not hoping for the when's.  While we have done a relatively good job with that, I have to admit life is also taking shape into the when of Reece going back to school and Gregg's schedule slowing down.
It has been an absolutely crazy and intense five weeks.  I am hoping that things will begin to take shape and slow down a bit ( I can wish right,  oh yeh I am enjoying the moment!)  So all that said much has happened since Graham turned a month old on Sunday....

Weight - We had our one month appointment on Monday August 20, our little man is packing on the pounds and now weighs 8 pounds 11 ounces.  Reece and I both guessed much less.  ( We play a little guessing game every doctors appointment since we have become such regulars.)  The doctors are very pleased with his weight gain.  He is also now up to 21 inches long.

Clothes - Graham is still in newborn size clothes but has moved to size 1 diapers.  I am also now able to put him in gowns for bedtime every night.  Not only does he seem cozy in them but they make for such easy diaper changes in the middle of the night.

Sleep - Graham is all over the board.  I am overjoyed to say he slept for one five hour stretch but then the next night was awake every hour and forty five minutes to two hours.  We chickened out having him sleep in his bed but I am going to try again on Monday.  Also we are now trying to start a nighttime routine with Graham which includes a bath, massage, and book.  We are hoping a consistent routine will help him in consistently sleeping better.  Our fingers are crossed!!!

(We of course only let him sleep on his belly when we are right him)

Diet - Well we are on day 4 of dairy free for mom.  So far Graham seems to be doing better.  The pediatrician said that it will take five to seven days for dairy to be completely out of my system.  So while he still seems to occasionally have some uncomfortableness, he is much better. We have been giving him Gripe Water in the few instances where he struggling.  That staff is awesome!!
 In addition, I am feeling more positive about nursing and my abilities that I not the sole cause of Graham's unhappiness as I had a great conversation with the lactation consultant from the hospital where we delivered.  She gave me some different strategies and new techniques to try, all of which seem to be helping.  The saying "things happen for a reason" has proved true again for me when I had a few moments to myself to catch up on my favorite guilty pleasure, People Magazine.  I read a few articles by nursing moms which inspired me to hang in there and embrace the joys of nursing.  Honestly I am feeling so much better and inspired to push through and figure it out, Graham and I.

Reece is helping Graham work on his soccer kick!

Likes - While we knew that Graham loved to cuddle on our chest or be held, we also found this week that he does really well on his belly on the Boppy.  He almost immediately becomes content. Graham loves to have his hands in his mouth.  It wouldn't surprise me if he becomes a thumb sucker!   A friend of mine also lent me her sling which Graham has really taken to.  I feel like I am finally able to get a few things done.  Now just to figure out a way to manage a shower!  

The sling seems to be a great solution to Graham being held close but allows me to accomplish a few things each day!

Vistors - Today Gregg's family is coming into town from New York and Massachusetts.  We have not seen them in a year in half so excited in an understatement.  Reece is counting down the hours until they arrive.  It will be great to reconnect and also introduce them to Graham.  

We are having Graham baptized on Sunday so I'll be sure to update with his special day!

Graham is one month old, already!!

While it sounds cliche to say, I cannot believe it has been a month, it really is hard to believe that Graham has been in our lives for one month already.  It is difficult to remember what life was like before he was a part of our family.  Parenthood is at times the most frustrating experience but also offers the greatest rewards we have known.  I cannot lie it this past month has been filled with a lot of tears, anxiety, frustration, but more love than we knew possible before.  We are loving getting to now our little man and seeing Reece become such an amazing big brother!

The greatest big brother telling Graham one of his many stories

Weight - Graham has his one month check up tomorrow so we are not 100% sure but I would guess he weighs about 8 pounds.  He is looking more and more like his brother everyday which leads me to believe that at least up to Reece's birth weight which was 7 pounds 15 ounces.

Sleep - Well sleep at night has been a challenge, I will talk more about this with his diet.  Graham is starting to get on a schedule during the day and has even begun to nap in his crib. I am working on the Babywise schedule which is an eat, play, then sleep philosophy.  It is suppose to help a baby learn to put themselves to sleep on their own.  So far during the day Graham is doing great with it but at times I have to really work to keep him awake after a feeding.   We have yet to see any results during the night time however.  I think we are going to try tonight to have him sleep in his bed for the first time if we can get some relief from my diet change.  He makes so many noises and even lets out little cries all through the night.  At this point Gregg and I are so sleep deprived we grab him with every noise he makes.  I think not only will we sleep better but hopefully Graham will also, so we will keep everyone posted how it goes!!

Clothes - Graham is still in newborn sizes but he is now really filling them out.  I would guess within the next week or so we will have him in 0 to 3 months.  He is also still wearing newborn diapers but it won't be long before he graduates to size one.  I have to admit these are all little milestones which make me sad because I feel like the time is flying by and while I look forward and anticipate so many things we are going to do together I really do treasure these moments.

Diet - Graham is nursing but ugh I have so been pondering what I want to say about this.  I have always been a big believer of breastfeeding and had no major issues with Reece.  Well Graham is so much more of a struggle. He is so agitated, uncomfortable, and gassy.  He is showing signs of having some colic.   Needless to say we spend most of the night holding him because he is so fussy.  I am not sure why I am so emotional about it and I know people have strong beliefs on both side but I will be the first to say nursing is so hard.  I have tried eliminating fiber, then tomatoes, but it has only gotten worse.  It is such a helpless feeling and I am now almost afraid to eat anything.  So after a lot of opinions, internet research , and a talk with the pediatrician, I am eliminating dairy.  I found myself aimlessly walking around the grocery store yesterday trying to find ingredients for recipes I found online and looking for other foods I can eat which are dairy free.  I had no idea how many food contain dairy and gosh I love ice cream!  For anyone that knows me, they know that the two things which affect my mood the most are a lack of sleep, and food.  Needless to say I am overwhelmed, exhausted and just desperate to help my baby find some comfort.  Honestly I have had many moments of wanting to throw the towel in but the other side of my brain starts talking about all the benefits of breastfeeding plus just my desire to nurse.  Well here I sit tired, hormonal, and just needing something to come slightly easier.  Hopefully the dairy will be the answer and most importantly Graham will get some relief!!

Vistors - We have had several people come this past week to meet Graham for the first time.  Several neighbors on the lake Guido and Lucy, The Rogers and Mary and Jim, as well as our good friends Scott and Jessica Moore all came by this week.  They all had great stories to tell Graham about the amazing adventures he has in front of him living on the lake and in our neighborhood.   We really love having people stop by and introducing Graham to everyone.

Guido and Lucy

Becca Rogers and Mary

Likes - It seems Graham's favorite thing to now do is pee sans his diaper.  It usually goes without fail that as soon as we go to change him, he soaks himself quicker than we can get a new diaper on him.  Clearly he is wanting to model his entire wardrobe everyday because we change clothes at least 3 times a day before it is even noon!   Graham is also enjoying looking around and making eye connect.  We sing him a lot of songs, play peek a boo, and Reece loves to tell him constantly about every thing imaginable, all while Graham looks right at us/him.  We have also been venturing out more which includes more time on the boat.  Much like his big brother, the little man seems like a natural on the water!

Graham enjoying the boat...he has started to lose his hair so we are opting for hat days!!

Love this picture

Milestones - Graham slept in his crib for the first time, but only for naps at this point.  We also went on our first big adventure to the zoo.  Graham loved it so much, he slept the entire time while Aunite Leah carried him in the Baby Bjorn.  Also Gregg and I had our first, then second night out while Nana babysat.  It felt so nice to get out but we were both exhausted and ready for bed by 10 am.  How life changes in a month!!

So everybody asks me "Is Graham a good baby? " "How is Reece doing?", quite honestly this is all we know so I'm not sure how I am suppose to answer.  The challenge isn't Reece or isn't Graham, they are both great but together it becomes quite chaotic at times.  The television is now on cartoons or SportCenter until noon, Reece hasn't read a book nor have we read a book to Graham in two days, and neither kid has had a bath in four days.  Truly I just try to get both kids fed, dressed not always in clean clothes, and hopefully my teeth brushed each day.  Everything in between is a struggle, yet I am learning everyday to juggle a little better but hopefully and most importantly both kids will never question how much we love them !!

Happiness

So most days are spent trying to just figure out which day it actually is, then before I know it is is 2 pm and we are still in our pajamas just eating breakfast.  Well Nana, my mom, text this morning and said they were thinking of going to the zoo did we want to go. I had had great intentions everyday to try to do a few more special things with Reece before school started but just hadn't been able to muster it together.  Except this morning , after her text we dropped everything, I feed Graham, I threw the camera, a change of clothes for Graham, and a few extra diapers in the diaper bag and we were off to the zoo.  What a great day we had... the weather was cool, the kids got along, lunch was delicious, noone was stung by the bees swarming around, Auntie Leah carried Graham in the Baby Bjorn the whole time without a peep, and we all had a great time except I realized how exhausting a major outing is three in a half weeks post-partum (But I would do it all over again).

  I love when it all comes together...

  

If she is not the most beautiful little red head...

  

Best Buds 

  Love this picture

Checking out the baby Apes and their parents

All the kids 

Getting our Vitamin Z worth

Pure amazement

Finishing up our adventure with a train ride

Who knew giraffe had such long tongues...hopefully we can feed them next time!